Halsey Opens Up About Seeking Help For Her Mental Health: ‘I’ve Been Committed Twice … I’m Not Ashamed’

Over the course of Halsey‘s career, she hasn’t been shy about sharing some of the most personal and intimate details of her life. From the miscarriage she suffered before a performance in 2015 to her ongoing struggle with mental health, she continues to prove that she’s an open book. But just when we thought she laid it all out there, the singer revealed to Rolling Stone even more details about her experience with bipolar disorder — which she was diagnosed with at 17 years old after a suicide attempt — and how she tries to get ahead of it before it starts to feel too difficult to manage.

“I’ve been committed twice since [I became] Halsey, and no one’s known about it. But I’m not ashamed of talking about it now,” she told the magazine. “It’s been my choice. … I’ve said to [my manager], ‘Hey, I’m not going to do anything bad right now, but I’m getting to the point where I’m scared that I might, so I need to go figure this out.’ It’s still happening in my body. I just know when to get in front of it.”

But just because she’s aware of her illness and takes the necessary steps to manage it doesn’t mean she doesn’t struggle with the reality that, one day, her manic period will come to an end. Halsey knows exactly how her bipolar cycles work, and after experiencing an extended period of mania, she knows it’s only a matter of time until she wakes up feeling the complete opposite. “I know I’m just going to get fucking depressed and be boring again soon,” she told Rolling Stone. “And I hate that that’s a way of thinking. Every time I wake up and realize I’m back in a depressive episode, I’m bummed. I’m like, ‘Fuck. Fuck! This is where we’re going now?”

Interestingly enough, Halsey’s upcoming album will be the first one she’s ever written in a manic state, and according to her, it shows. On it, there will be “hip-hop, rock, country, fucking everything — because it’s so manic. It’s soooooo manic. It’s literally just, like, whatever the fuck I felt like making; there was no reason I couldn’t make it.” This will be the first LP she releases that will not be classified as a concept album.

Despite being inherently different from her previous releases, producer Benny Blanco says her writing style hasn’t changed much from album to album. “She’ll be like, ‘OK, I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette,’ and literally when she comes back the song is done.” But her manic state has, at the very least, had some sort of impact on the entire process. According to Blanco, Halsey’s had to try out a different approach with this album by revisiting songs she’s written several weeks prior because she “can’t sit still long enough to be productive” — a product of her manic state.

Overall, some may look at Halsey and all of her success and assume it would make her lows even lower and her highs even higher, but that’s actually not the case at all. “It makes me accountable,” she said, insisting that, if anything, working at her craft has given her the stability she needed.

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